Hey, you! Yes, you.

A while ago (back in April) I wrote a post promoting equality amongst my equivalent of Gretchie's "imaginary friends." I had twenty people, because that was the most number of labels I could include, and since it's pointless if I mention someone but doesn't include their label, I just chose twenty people.

Today's lucky people are:

• Amanda
• Camel
• Dora
• Gretchen
• Irving
• Joss
• Mario
• Matt
• Melissa
• Micro
• Mogley
• Nyx
• Owen
• Reese
• Sonny
• Stella
• Tamir
• Tybalt
• Vincent
• Yuma

(*Zephy: Sorry! I was also going to include you, but you were the 21st, and therefore did not fit. I will dedicate a new post entirely to you later.)

But before all of this, I would like to say that I have started reading the DMV booklet for my permit test, and it's so far going well. I don't know what kind of test they have though, so we'll have to see. And besides, I suck at memorization.

Also... why, why do they use clock hands for steering wheel positions, instead of diagrams? I like my digital clock just as much as the next person, and the only time I use analog clocks are when I'm trying to figure out how much time I have left in a class, and it's become second-nature to me that I don't even know the hours, just the minutes.

Anyway. Let's commence!

Amanda-Amanda's sent out a FB message to me (along with various other people) asking me if I wanted to join her on a NYC trip sometime in the summer. I do, but I have to okay it first with my parents, so I'm holding on responding just for now.

Camel-I don't think I'll ever have another class with Camel. He's being boring and taking Physics B and Calc AB, and somehow I don't think he's going to take AP Lit or any of my other classes. Doesn't sound like him. We don't really talk outside of communicating with Nyx, so I guess we won't really talk ever again.

Dora-Right! Movies, possibly. I still have to get back to her on that as well. So many things happening this summer! I'm glad that summer's finally here. There's definitely less stress right now, which is good, but I think I'm going to be looking forward for school to start, surprisingly.

Gretchen-Can you believe she's behind Irving, of all people, in my tag-list? I can't. Well, I suppose it's because of all the math team things where I mention Irving because he's usually doing something outrageous (but usually less so to some extent) with Mario. Anyway, Gretchen and I need to land in Japan soon. I'm getting a little air-sick right now.

Irving-Mentioned above, and that I probably won't ever see him again, unless I get into Hahvahd (unlikely) or get into MIT (also unlikely) and he happens to bike by because I can't bike by him since I don't know how to bike.

Joss-He still has spiky hair, even though he cut it shorter earlier. I don't know what else to say of him. Not very exciting right now.

Mario-Oh, Mario. What to say of him? I think he's going to have superiority issues next year in math team. To think that he said of Irving's behavior during Moody's, "I think he had trouble realizing who was the real boss. Next year there won't be a question as to who's in charge." No doubt. It's not him.

Matt-Super skinniness aside, he's leaving as well! I somehow cannot process that, even though I could process Irving and Owen and Melissa leaving. I guess it's because he wasn't away on the senior internships, so I haven't really felt him leave. I'm really going to miss him, even if he doesn't talk much.

Melissa-Ambivalent on her leaving. I think things are going to be a lot quieter without her, which is both good and bad. We won't have her cookies anymore as well, so that could be bad.

Micro-I'm trying to communicate to him in sign language, but neither he nor Sonny understands it, so Yuma and I are having a particularly difficult time.

Mogley-Didn't know he was taking Econ next year. Maybe we'll be in the same class again. He had English scheduling problems earlier, and I told him, "Just get AP English," to which he said, "No way, me?" Our English teacher agreed with his sentiment, and not just because of his horrible grammar (I still can't forgive him for writing lists without commas).

Nyx-Has a super early arena time but has no need for it because of her singletons. I'm slightly envious, but then I remember that no matter who I have they're either not bad or they're unavoidable, so I don't care that much either. And I'll probably have physics with Tea (unless it runs out) so it doesn't concern me very, very much.

Owen-Writing about Owen here reminds me of his alpaca. Also my "choose your own adventure" story. Otherwise he doesn't remind me of anything except that I don't know who's going to keep Dino well-oiled in the next year. We might see an increase in system crashes then.

Reese-I'm talking to Reese on Gchat a lot now. He's using Digsby, which is apparently similar to the device that Tea uses except for PCs. I shall have to try that out soon.

Sonny-He's hilarious, even if he doesn't mean it. He also can't understand sign language or exaggerated waving. Also, I found out how freaky he looked while sunbathing with Scott and the like. A row of guys lying down on the ground in the courtyard just looks weird.

Stella-I don't talk to her nearly as much now. I should. In fact, I will talk to her today as soon as I get this Digsby thing working.

Tamir-Why did I even first mention him? Why do I keep on mentioning him? I don't know. Whatever.

Tybalt-From what I've heard from Kathrya lately, he's exceedingly sweet. This disproves my best friend from back before's theory that all guys are jerks. But then again, I knew that a long time ago. Besides, it doesn't disprove the theory that some guys (ambiguity on how many) are jerks.

Vincent-I need to go over to his house more often if it means more Clue time. I'm addicted to the game. It's unhealthy, I think, both physically and emotionally.

Yuma-I never knew he was so good at go, but then again, Yuma is amazing at a lot of things. We definitely need him on our Moody's team next year. Also, Mrs. MacDonald said that she was looking forward to seeing me (and presumably everyone on our team) next year for Moody's. I think that basically guarantees that, if we don't do something stupid and smoke pot in front of the principal or something like that, we're going to be on a team (if not on a team together) next year.

Whew. Now let's see if anything on my "Noteworthy" list looks better now.

Deathly Fumes

In physics today, I was painting my pink eraser with an assortment of nail polish colors, when I said to Camel, "I think these fumes are bad for my brain."

"They stink," Camel said, obviously never having had to suffer such atrocious smells before (and if he has, I am not concerned with why).

I kept on painting anyway. Mr. Stencil came in and informed us that the second potential physics teacher candidate (two points here: a) we are going to have a new physics teacher next year because two physics teachers are going to teach the newly created computer classes, and b) the first candidate already "taught" the period 7 class) will be coming tomorrow.

"I won't be here tomorrow," Scott said, "And so won't most of the class. The econ test is tomorrow."

So Mr. Stencil asked those who were taking the AP econ test to raise their hands. A sea of hands went up. Then, he switched tactics and asked those who were not going anywhere to raise their hands. Five hands went up.

We debated (briefly) whether the candidate should come on Friday, since Mr. Stencil won't be in school on that day anyway. I wouldn't mind either way. My Thursday is looking to be pretty awesome so far (it goes like this: calc, extended US, physics, extended stat, English, then health).

After that, since some people were not here because of the English test, we had a clicker day on sound waves. Which was a rather failure for me, since I couldn't do mental math today for some reason (despite having watched Numb3rs in stat the class prior while trying to finish my physics lab, and asking Matt, but he didn't know much about optics either).

In my other science class, chem, we played Jeopardy! almost all period long. Mr. Coffee is amazingly good at these (he got most of them), so it was a great disadvantage for us when he declared that he would compete alongside with us. I got two questions right in total, one on the state tree of Maine (it's pine) and one on which North American capital Queen Victoria picked (Ottawa, and she only saw watercolor pictures of the potential capital cities beforehand—hey, I know my Canadian history).

After two rounds of Jeopardy! (the exclamation mark is totally necessary), we went on Sporcle instead, and Mr. Coffee was busy typing away on a name-that-person-based-on-the-image test when the bell rang. I went down to French (where we had a sub) and so did not see if he passed. Pity.

Then Micro ignored me while we were all on the bus (albeit different ones). But I had Yuma to talk with, and so we talked about something, but it must not have been important, because I don't remember any of it.

Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Never Walk Long Distances In Flip-flops*

(*Also known as: the longest title Nephria has and will ever see. Ever.)

Anyway. I have miraculously (and most unfortunately) discovered almost all of these reasons today. Needless to say, I will not be walking in flip-flops (or high heels, but that's another story) for an extended period of time anymore (until the next time I forget, or whatever). But here is the list:

1. When you walk for more than 45 minutes (or over 4000 steps) your feet will hurt. A lot.
2. Since you will not be anywhere near your intended destination (or home) after 45 minutes or 4000 steps (because if you were, you would not have this problem), you will have to walk even more. And it will hurt. A lot.
3. Because you have been walking despite your feet complaining that perhaps you should not be walking, your feet will retaliate with the suicidal approach of—gasp—growing blisters.
4. Blisters hurt. A lot.
5. After your feet complain/protest/make your life miserable, your flip-flops will decide to be even more harsh on you (or maybe that's just the placebo effect).
6. Since you are wearing flip-flops, you are most likely (although maybe not always) not wearing socks, and so there is nothing to cushion your feet against the hard soles.
7. You will be in a lot of agony. So much that, while others complain of their legs hurting because they have walked over 4000 steps, you will not feel anything in your legs because all of the attention/pain has been hogged by your feet.
8. When you (finally) get home, you will discover that the shoes your mom makes you wear (because the floor is dirty) resembles flip-flops. (This step/reason is not necessary, but may occur.)
9. You will sit down in front of your computer and your feet will still hurt. A lot.
10. Lastly, you will become inspired to write a list of top ten reasons why you should never, ever walk long distances while wearing flip-flops, except you only chose the number "ten" because it forms an alliteration with "top," not because you actually had ten reasons, so you basically made up the other seven.

In other, lighter news, I went to CVS today with Zephy to buy nail polish. I figured it would be too much to ask Melissa to paint my eraser again, so I decided to make it a DIY project. Besides, it's not like I'll be doing anything productive in calc otherwise. (Actually, I lied. I read books for English and US in calc all the time now.)

Elaine had, a very, very long time ago, lent me two bottles of blue nail polish (which I still need to return her), so I went and bought a bottle of pink nail polish and a bottle of silvery one. There were so many I couldn't really decide which ones I wanted, and I didn't find any glitter (to make the shiny effect), but the silvery nail polish had mini-glitter inside, so I suppose that will work (or I can go ask the art department if they have any spare glitter). I plan to paint them (my erasers, that is) on Friday, when Mrs. James is not here. Not that I think she will mind, but I probably will be reading for US on Thursday, and she so happens to not be in school on Friday.

Also, here, I would like to wish all my friends who are taking AP English (and there are quite a few of them) good luck on the test tomorrow. I personally could never write an essay in pen. I would just hate it so much. But you (all of you) will do wonderful and ace the test but will do much, much better than it because I do not have a high opinion of anything that claims to judge your ability with a three hour long test.

I suppose there lies a certain level of ability to the test, however, as Bryant finished his multiple choice section of the AP chem test 45 minutes earlier. Camel (who sat behind Bryant) looked up at the clock with 45 minutes left to go, and saw Bryant sitting upright, with nothing in his hands, just staring ahead. Granted, the test was not hard (and some of the questions were downright ridiculous, but I can't spill them "ever," according to CB), but 45 minutes is a bit absurd when the entire section is 90 minutes long (okay, fine, I had 30 minutes to spare, and I spent them coloring in every one of my bubbles again, but still).

But I have no more excuses to skip class anymore. I must do my homework now (or do them during chem). English vocab/10 chapters of Huck Finn/SAT-type prompt here I come (yay...).

Shortness Is Sometimes A Virtue

It is extremely late today. I have a lot of work. I should be doing said work, but I really, really don't feel like it (and it's really long, and really tedious), so instead I will update about my life. Because it is oh-so-interesting, and if I don't, I'll forget all about it and then think that I have nothing to blog about for quite some time.

Not likely, because tomorrow is—gasp!—the states math meet! There will be so much to talk about, and I can't wait to see what the bus trip will be like. Last year, I was with Tybalt and Bryant and Melissa and Jun most of the time, and it was fun (I played connect-five and Monkey with Jun on the way there, or was that New England's?), but I have a feeling it's going to be even better this year.

So yes, I shall blog about that tomorrow or Wednesday, whenever I get around to it. Meanwhile, today.

Second last gym class today, and I can't believe it! We had a new Tae Bo video today, and it was hard (I've noticed that even Billy Blanks doesn't do all of the movements), but it was also fun. Tomorrow, if the guy our gym teacher's been trying to invite comes, we'll probably be going out to the courtyard to do this mix of martial arts and workout. If not, we'll still be outside, and what better way to celebrate our last day of "physical" gym but to go outside in the nice weather?

I still can't believe it's going to end after tomorrow. Wow. Time really flies, even if you're not having fun.

I'm also making a flowchart adventure map, and once I finish it, I'll find a way to scan it (and my notes for my EOQR for US) and I'll put it up here. It's heavily influenced by xkcd. Just to give you a hint of several of the fates that have befallen my friends as they attempted the adventure:

• Nyx ended up in the ever-looping Rainbow-Land
• Camel chose a path that did not exist (yet), then after re-routing, got eaten by a raptor
• Zephy was hailed king (or queen?) by a group of robots

Very, very exciting. So I'll have that done (probably on the bus tomorrow, along with discussing AIME questions with Argon, who took one for practice and thus knows my pain in question #9, the hexagon one) and I'll get it up as soon as possible. I promise.

And yes, Easter Island trip is still coming up (I've been saying this for quite some while now). I will have that done by the end of my finals (calc next Monday and Tuesday, then stat Wednesday and Thursday). As for today, it's late, and I'm tired, and I have to wake up early tomorrow, so I'll go to sleep now.

(Was this one shorter than usual? I started it out thinking it will be, but it's turned out rather substantial again. Darn.)

Because We Believe In Equality

This was started yesterday. Anything that mentions "this morning" or "today" means April 1st.

First of all, this post is entirely dedicated to evening out the huge discrepancy in the assignment of labels (or "libellés," as my Blogger page now displays, because I just recently converted it into French as part of an ongoing project to have everything I use be explained in French). Therefore, this page is dedicated to talking about those people who I have mentioned more than once or twice (since those that I only mention once or so I probably won't really talk about anyway, although I might) but have definitely mentioned less than ten times (effectively weeding out those two whom I shall not mention).

So, after scanning my alphabetized label list, these are the people I will blog about today (if this is necessary again, there will be a repeat of this post to some extent) in alphabetical order:

• Camel
• Dora
• Gretchen
• Irving
• Joss
• Mario
• Melissa
• Mogley
• Mrs. James
• Mrs. MacDonald
• Nyx
• Owen
• Reese
• Stella
• Tamir
• Tea
• Tybalt
• Vincent
• Zephy

That's it, really. Any more, and Blogger won't let me label them due to the "maximum 20 labels at a time" rule. Anyway. The tidbits about these people that happened since the last time I talked about them, or whenever, really.

Camel: I think he has a jacket complex as well (first thing that popped into my mind, since nothing really interesting happened in chem today—except Mr. Coffee's friend jumping from the roof into a pool thirty feet below or crawling into a crypt and scaring people for fun). In fact, now that I think of it, a lot of the guys I know seem to have a favorite jacket that they will wear all day week long. Camel has this dark blue jacket, which is not particularly ugly (although I may not be the best judge for fashion), but after seeing it for several months in a row (maybe with the occasional AC/DC shirt in between), I may have permanently associated him with his jacket.

(He is also on my bus, and I have seen him wearing that jacket ever since before I even really knew him, so this may be another reason why.)

(Dino, whom I shall not tag because there is no space anymore, and Jack, not tagged for similar reasons, both also have a jacket they almost always wears. Argon has his sleeping-bag-like thing he carries around with him, although with the warmer weather he has now acquired a new, navy colored jacket which is a tad bit too big for him, but he'll probably grow into it. This morning, at gym, we were standing together and he commented on how he might finally be taller than me, as he always had a notion that he was shorter. We later decided it may have been because of the shoes—his heels were significantly taller, as I had been wearing really, really flat shoes.)

(And I thought this was supposed to be about Camel? Anyway. Next.)

Dora: This is also rather unrelated to Dora, but she was sitting at the table and so this story will be filed under her name. This morning, before class started, Dora and Tierra were already seated at a table in the library. I joined them, and Gretchen (who is below, I know, but there will be another story for her) and Kathrya and Tybalt (wow, this story has a lot of people in it) came as well. Kathrya commented on how her friends were more mature, because "they didn't start singing wedding songs."

Later on, Dino walked in to the library (why does everything have to always include him?), and someone said, "He walks strangely." This was met with a chorus of agreements, and Kathrya's remark, "Now where is Ginny?" before realizing that I was standing right next to her.

(I need to stop making Dino appear in this. The whole point of this was so he wouldn't be mentioned as often compared to the others.)

(I also saw Dora in English today, but we watched a movie—"Death of a Salesman"—so we didn't get to talk to each other.)

Gretchen: I don't know why Gretchen's never broken ten labels. This will probably change with the Chile trips (I'm still working on Easter Island—I really am!), but in the meantime, I will insert a link here to her blog. I'm not certain that my blog sees more traffic than hers, but in the minute event it does, we can pool them just like pooling standard deviations in a difference of means test. Except in this case, Gretch's sample size may be larger than mine, so pooled variances may not be the best bet.

Irving: I must say, I haven't seen Irving around today. Strange. Usually, I see him sauntering down the hallway (well, he doesn't really do that, but he does walk differently in a way), going to a class that's in the opposite direction of mine. Perhaps our constant existence on the third floor is a reason why I see him so much. So instead of a personal recount, I will broadcast the (probably by now commonly known) news that he got into Harvard. Wow. Well, I mean, he deserves it and everything, but that's still very, very amazing.

(Yeah. That's about it. No wonder he isn't tagged so much.)

Joss: Let's see. Joss believes that the secret to teleporting is to throw a smoke bomb and then run really, really fast. He also still needs to pay Reese (or do something else, but I'm not sure what) so Reese can teach me grammar, so I can teach him how to draw clothes. Although, if you ask me, I doubt my pictures of clothes are correct all of the time. I just add folds randomly (or in obvious places). I also don't know how well this whole exchange thing will go. Too many unknown variables, I suppose.

Mario: I don't see Mario that much lately, or maybe I still do but I no longer respond to his appearance. Well, anyway, I saw him during lunch today, along with Tea and Bryant and Boris. He seemed rather preoccupied with his SAT vocab book. Which reminds me, I should probably also study my vocab, if I wish to avoid the same fate as Bryant's. Or just cram Latin roots. Those always help.

Melissa: I didn't see Melissa today—away at a college thing or something, I believe. I still need to get a cupcake recipe from her as well. This may also be the shortest one yet, because I have not talked to Melissa in such a long time. She doesn't really go to math team anymore. Maybe that's why.

Mogley: He is weird. One of the weird guys I know (and by far not the weirdest) but definitely weird. He was attempting yet another 6x6 sudoku in English today. I asked him if he ever tried the 9x9 one (because honestly, 6x6 isn't really sudoku; it's like diluted HCl—isn't quite the same as the original), and he said that he had tried one today, but messed up. Compared to Mogley, Matt is a sudoku whiz. (The extraordinary amount of time Matt devotes to sudoku every day may be the reason though. If this keeps up, I'll begin to fail stat.)

(Also, as compensation for his horrible sudoku skills, Mogley said that he was getting better at the Jumble questions. I guess you can't have everything.)

Mrs. James: I walked into calc today just as Mrs. James said, "I really want a Snapple!" I have no idea how this whole Snapple thing started (which also reminds me of the xkcd strip on the tin apple—I'm reading too much xkcd, it's definitely not good for me).

Jay then said, "I have a Snapple in my bag."

"Really?" Mrs. James asked, all excited.

"Nope, April Fools!"

(This went on for several minutes, in which many people in the class took turns saying they had a Snapple in their bag—Scott said he had over 100 of them at home—and then saying, "April Fools!" Mrs. James retaliated by telling Jay, "Oh, I'm going to give you an A+ for the quarter—wait, April Fools!")

Mrs. MacDonald: Is conducting an experiment on the number of texts people send and receive in an average class period. It's due to begin next week, and will last an entire week. Statistically speaking (although I knew before I ever took stat), if texting in class is so prevalent, I (and Matt) will definitely be outliers. My phone doesn't allow text messages. Matt's too preoccupied by his crosswords and sudokus and Jumbles and word finds to care about texting (he also has an iPhone, which may deter texting as he can't physically touch the keys on his phone to know which letters he's typing if he placed the phone in his pocket or something).

Nyx: Said that her phone's autotexting dictionary does not have the word "zombie." This prompted Camel to say, "What if there was a zombie invasion, and only you knew about it? You have to text people, but then you'd have to type 'zombie' out, and by that time the zombie might have already attacked you!" Also, her phone doesn't have "haha" as a word either. (Tybalt should be glad he doesn't have this phone. He would be seriously crippled in his texting abilities.)

(This also reminds me, Scott is now called "Texty-Pants" in our calc class, because he tried to text under the table, and, when caught by Mrs. James, attempted to deny it.)

Owen: Will be receiving his alpaca soon. Alpacas, according to my research yesterday, likes being in groups of two or more, and around six to eight alpacas can live on one acre of land. I hope Owen's backyard is large enough, because he needs to keep at least two alpacas to ensure that his alpaca doesn't die of loneliness, and so he needs at least 1/4 of an acre of land set aside for this special, special friend (and its girlfriend, but the girlfriend would be much more expensive).

Reese: I have yet to see his shiny new laptop. Among other things, but this is the first that pops up. (Camel supposedly made Reese's old laptop crash via remote accessing, so that's why Reese needed a new one.) I've been promised that this new one is every bit as shiny as the last, except perhaps not red anymore and not the one that underwent SSSC's brutal conditions.

Stella: Is probably on another bout of "I-hate-school-ism." I haven't asked yet, but the past few times I've talked with her, she has complained about the, to quote her words, "the stupid people." She is really the opposite of many people I know. I mean, most people, regardless of what they say, at least care a little about their grades and their futures. Stella just doesn't care anymore.

We talked about our futures for some brief moment before, mostly with me asking her what she would do after high school. She didn't want to talk about it, and I agree with that sentiment. I don't know what I want to with my life after high school. I mean, I obviously want to go to a good college, but why? And which one? Whatever college I go to—that's my future path there. If I go to McGill (which is probably very likely at this point), that means I'll most likely be focusing on pre-med. If I go to UBC or, although very unlikely, Penn, I would be going down the path of economics. If I go to Waterloo (yeah right, I'll be crushed by all the crazy Canadian math geeks, since that's the school for math and science oriented people in Canada) or Cornell (again, unlikely, especially with their financial aid situation), it's probably engineering. And then there are the schools we consider mostly for their prestige—Harvard, Yale, and the rest of the Ivies along with a few other schools. Are they really that much better? We (not including me, because the probability of me getting in those places is very, very, extremely, very slim—statistically speaking), as some of the brightest among our peers, do everything we can in order to get into one of these schools, conforming to their ideals of what is a "perfect" student, just so we can bear the honor of having gone to such a school and gain the privilege of acquiring a good-paying job and the respect of others.

(God, maybe I should just go get a job to paint the Golden Gate Bridge like I've always said I should.)

(Well, there are also the good points, like learning new things with teachers who really know what they're talking about—granted I understand them.)

Tamir: I don't know why I have mentioned him so often. Really. We barely talk. Let's see. I saw Tamir in physics today, and he complained about the magnetism unit. Or maybe that was Alec. Then I saw him in English, but he didn't talk because we were watching a movie.

Yeah, boring. Next.

Tea: I also can't believe I have not talked about Tea very often in my blog. I think it's mostly because everything I know about Tea, she pretty much blog about it anyway. Well, I will insert a link here to promote her blog instead, although I'll bet she doesn't need any promotion from me because her faithful followers are much more numerous than mine. Just in case I have a lurker though.

(Also, as a note to Tea: your "about" page doesn't link to an actual about page. Mine doesn't either—all I've managed to set up was the "contact" part. I think I half started an "about me" page and then forgot about it.)

Tybalt: Just a general question out there (to those who know about it)—does Tybalt know of my, uh, hopefully-will-be-affiliation with Dino? (Once again, Dino is EVERYWHERE. I think I'm getting obsessed.) Otherwise, I have not seen him since this morning with Kathrya, and since Kathrya's story has already been told in Dora's place, I won't repeat it again.

(In his place, I will talk about Bryant, who was barely eliminated because he has exactly ten labels. Today, as I handed in my chem test corrections, I saw Bryant's "test corrections," namely his name, the title, and nothing else on it. Later on, he said that receiving a 3/3 on those test corrections actually brought his grade down. Ugh. He kind of makes me jealous sometimes.)

Vincent: I think I've pretty much covered everything about him before. I don't remember if I've seen him today. Maybe I have.

UPDATE: (from Facebook, my constant source of information) Apparently Vincent's family is moving out of state? He's currently asking if he can board at someone's house for nine months. I seriously doubt this will happen (although you never know), but I do hope he can stay. Who else will I be able to discuss plans for travelling to alternate universes via thousands of giant lasers with?

(There is always Dino—ugh, him again!—but I think he would probably even prefer owning his own alpaca over talking about lasers.)

Zephy: We went Easter egg-hunting today! Zephy's a natural at these things, as she found four or five eggs in the library alone, in under ten minutes. I have no idea why there were eggs everywhere (someone in my calc class said she knew who put them there, but wouldn't tell us). Also, this reminds me, I still need to give her back her chocolate egg, because I was carrying it in my plastic egg container since she had too much candy to fit inside hers. I was supposed to give it back, but I completely forgot about it until after we said goodbye when we got off the bus. Huh. I suppose chocolate won't go stale anytime soon.

(Hmm...)

Actually, considering how long this thing is, I probably will not ever do this again. At least not with so many people. I'll just talk about Dino and Argon less. Maybe.

Not Everything's About ARML (but it can be about waving your arms around)

I walked to my bus stop today (which also reminds me, I need to invest in driver's ed some day, preferably soon) and found Zephy already there, holding two plates of what appeared to be baked goods.

"Hold," she said, pointing to the plate of brownies. "One of them is for you."

"What is this for?"

"Sophomore committee. We're having a bake sale today."

So when we got off the bus later on, we headed straight for the math offices to drop off the food. Halfway down the hall, I saw Micro wandering around, looking lost.

"Hey," he said, waving to me. "We're supposed to be in the math department, right?"

"Yeah. I don't think Tybalt's here though."

I was apparently wrong. Tybalt was already inside when we reached the math offices, and he was looking at our school's performance for last year's AIME. Someone—I believe Irving, although I could be wrong, got four questions right last year, and that was the highest anyone from our school achieved. Micro and I lingered in the back of the room as Tybalt and Mr. Stone discussed something. Then, Mr. Stone grabbed some scrap paper, rulers, and pencils, and led us downstairs to finally start the test.

AIME is three hours long.

At first, Tybalt said, "Oh, the questions at the end are really hard, so we probably won't take three hours."

Well, for mathematical minds as ours that are not as well polished (compared to those who say, "I didn't get a 120+ on the AMC, I failed!" If I got a 120, I would be really surprised at myself), we took three hours to do however many questions we each managed to tackle. In Micro's words, "Not a lot." But I'm apparently not allowed to talk about the difficulty of the test until an undetermined time later (or maybe it's only on the forum, I'm not sure), so I won't say how well I did. I'll just say that all of us took the entire three hour period we had, and that, on a Wednesday morning, was very draining.

We couldn't even talk to other people, unlike Moody's (although Moody's was way longer so I suppose it evens out), so I spent half the time listening to one person or another sniffle.

Anyway, Tybalt left first, then Micro, and I left last as I scrambled to bubble in random answers on my answer sheet so it looks like I did something (and increase the chance of me getting the right answer from 0% to 0.1%).

At lunch, I went to find Tybalt to compare answers. Sonny and Dino, who also sat at the table (so did Bryant, but he was on the other end), clamored to see the test.

"Is this ARML?" Sonny asked. I really have no idea why he thinks everything math and competition-related is automatically ARML. Probably because he only knows ARML through Dino.

"No," Dino said. "AIME." (Also, AIME sounds very confusing when you're saying it to someone who doesn't know what it is, because it sounds like Amy. Reese, among others, have asked, "Who is this Amy person?")

"Oh," Sonny said. Tybalt snatched the test back and proceeded to make myself less confident in my answers. I suppose the reverse could also hold true.

On my way back to my table, I saw Micro (who also has lunch, how surprising). I proceeded to plop down next to him and compare answers with him. Let's just say that we (all three of us) haven't reached a consensus yet.

But I mean, it's us. Paperclip. We haven't yet defeated a Massachusetts school in NEML. What's the chances of all three of us doing superbly well and all making it to USAMO?

(Very little, although Micro may have a chance with USAJMO—depending on his guessing skills.)

Later on, in physics, Mr. Stencil finally came through with his promise of pizza for us because our class scored the highest out of all of Mr. Stencil's classes on this "physics concepts" test we took. However, because it was Passover, half the class couldn't eat it. Tamir, obviously not restrained by such rules, loomed over the boxes of pizza as the class debated whether those who could not eat the pizza should get bonus points instead.

In the end, almost everyone gave in to the temptation (Camel after much consideration and only after seeing the mushroom pizza). Jeremy and Scott left the room to control their urges, but when they came back, Scott said, "You can still smell the pizza." It was too late anyway. All three boxes had been scarfed down already.

After physics (which was after school), I went to get my coat. I saw Yuma on my way there, and so I told him to save a seat for me on the bus. When I got on the bus, it was half-empty (probably because of spring sports), but I sat next to Yuma anyway. He sat next to the window, so when I turned to look at him, I saw Micro on the bus next to ours.

"Hey look," I said. "It's Micro!"

Yuma turned to see. "Oh yeah."

I started waving frantically at Micro, trying to get his attention. He didn't notice me, but Sonny, who sat behind Micro on the bus, saw me and waved back.

Not exactly what I was looking for. I tried to wave in a general front-ward direction, in an attempt to tell Sonny to get Micro's attention. Sonny only stared at me and made weird arm gestures as well. Again. Not exactly what I was looking for.

And to end this (instead of blogging about Easter Island, which I will get to, shortly), I'll post something Chile-related. Make of it what you will.

Ginny

okay

and

tell Owen that his llama is on the way

(hopefully)

17:32Dino

his llama?

17:32Ginny

(if it doesn't get quarantined)

17:32Dino

which Owen?

17:33Ginny

your brother

who else?

17:33Dino

yd u get him a llama?

17:34Ginny

we were going to get a llama for ourselves anyway

Gretchen and I

and he seemed interested

17:34Dino

a stuffed llama?

17:34Ginny

no, one from chile

17:34Dino

a real llama

17:34Ginny

well

real enough

17:35Dino

real enough?

17:35Ginny

sort of like "the things they carried"

17:35Dino

kewl

17:35Ginny

it's summery in chile right now though

so I'm not sure how it'll fare

on the plane

and we also need to find a large enough crate

but those are minor issues

17:36Dino

ur not ACTUALLY getting a llama

17:36Ginny

like I said

"the things they carried"

style

17:37Dino

never read that

17:37Ginny

it's a nice book

and I think it's referenced in the first page

17:39Ginny

also

he's not allergic to llama hair

is he?

17:39Dino

no....

17:40Ginny

okay

good

allergies would pose huge problems

More Adventures (in Chile) + Panic IRL

This was long overdue but necessary in the grand scheme of life this trip. Therefore, it is here, and I will be off to do my homework ("Gasp!") because I just checked the schedule and the CALC FINAL (-cue screaming sound effects-) is in two weeks. (±Math run-offs, AIME's, and an assortment of other things.) Therefore, I probably won't be getting any homework done, and so I might as well post this now so I don't get too distracted.


ALSO YOU GUYS: Ignore tenses in this thing. I don't know what land I'm in, but this land's Laws decree that normal tense situations do not apply here. That, or I'm writing about past/present/future at the same time, so I'm really, really confused.


Today is the first day of our (Gretchie has joined my trip) adventures! After an entire day of packing, we have decided that we have EVERYTHING we could possibly need that we can think of right now. So, relying upon our trusty RANDOM.ORG random coordinates generator, we have decided to travel to the most coveted—

Chile!

But first things first. We need a picture of Gretchie since she's coming along as well.

After quite some time of fiddling with paint the camera once again, here is a picture of Gretch (to the right). (A/N: This picture did not exist prior to this post; however, due to unfortunate media leakage, this picture is now old news and therefore lacks the "wow" factor it was supposed to bring.)

Great, now we can begin!

So, since we're in the middle of nowhere not anywhere near Chile, I ordered tickets from TravelWithUsJerk.com (see bottom of page). They came in the mail yesterday, while we were still packing, and boy, were we excited! I literally jumped up and down until I got tired and had to stop.


Gretchie added a water filter, cards, a Spanish-English dictionary, a Swiss army knife, eating utensils, and walkie-talkies to her bag. I've also last-minutely added a small, hand-held mirror, just in case we're plane-wrecked in the middle of the ocean and we need to flash Morse code signals at planes to make them notice us.


Anyway, at 9:30AM, we decided that we had everything. With a few final checks (making sure we locked the doors and windows and said a teary farewell to our friends for the hour day week possibly eternity), we were ready to depart!

The closest international airport is JFK, and it's a very, very far distance away (anything that can't be tackled reasonably by foot is a very far distance for me), so naturally we rode a taxi! I love yellow taxis—they make me feel happy on the inside, especially if it's raining outside and the water puddles make the road all reflection-y when the yellow taxis drive by.


The ride to the airport was pretty fun, and when we got to the airport, we still had plenty of time left (the plane was scheduled to leave at 2PM—haha, 2PM—and we arrived at 11AM). So we did what normal people do when they're about to embark on a round-the-world voyage.


We jumped up and down (figuratively for Gretchie and literally for me) and ooh'd and ahh'd over everything we saw. Well, of course, we had to get our boarding pass first, go through numerous layers of customs (tricky—I never did like customs), and find our waiting room. Once we got there, however, the realization that the trip was finally happening made both of us giddy. I pulled out my laptop and we went over the itinerary for the next few days, which I will outline below in order to pacify you because the actual trip writing may take a long time to solidify give you an idea of what is to come:

• Day 1: Arrive at Santiago (the capital of Chile and where the major International airport is located), look around, check into a hotel, scream, "WE'RE IN CHILE!!!" (Preferably in Spanish, although that is a feat only Gretchie can accomplish right now.)
• Day 2: Continue tour of Santiago (I've heard that they have amazing food there), in the afternoon take a plane to Atacama Desert and stay the night there.
• Day 3-6: Explore Atacama. Highlights: museums, geysers, beautiful views, adobe hotels! On the last day, take a plane to Easter Island.
• Day 7-11: Explore Easter Island. (More) highlights: Moai (those stone faces Easter Island is famous for), volcanic craters, scuba diving/snorkeling. On the last day/afternoon, take a plane back to Santiago.
• Day 12: Rest a bit, check any really good tourist attractions (or restaurants), then depart for our next destination (undecided as of yet).

So, there you have it! Almost two weeks of fun in Chile, or at least we hope it will be. Alas, time flies when you're rechecking over itineraries (or maybe just when you're having fun in general), and by the time we finished going over the details and planning what we will do after we get off the plane, it was about time to board our plane.


Here's a picture of the plane we're going to board:


Isn't it pretty?


This is a plane owned by Lan Chile Airlines, the major airline company in Chile. It's also the only plane that travels to Easter Island, which is where we're going to go later. (How this hasn't directly attributed to grossly unreasonable fares, I have no idea, but I assume I'll know next year with a year of econ under my figurative belt.)

I found some random picture online took a picture of the landscape as we were about to depart. Can you believe it? We're going to leave the country soon, and then our continent!


South America, here we come!


Of course, for the entire flight, Gretchie and I watched this strange documentary about glaciers in Greenland. I don't really remember much of it, because I was more focused on the beautiful background music they played while showing the films of the glaciers.


It takes around nine hours to go by plane from NYC to Chile, and so by the time we arrived, it was a staggeringly late 11PM by our watches. However, by the Chilean time zone (UTC-04), it was already midnight. Gretchie and I were both pretty tired by now, so our first priority was to find a hotel and rest for the night.


(I think we'll have to push back our schedule for a day, because rest is very, very important and visiting Santiago is also very, very important, and we have plenty of time to spare anyway.)


Gretchie took some pictures of the night-time Santiago as we rode in our taxi and headed toward our hotel. Here's one that we both really liked:

After much sight-seeing through the streets of Santiago, we arrived at our hotel which is not named because I have been too lazy to actually find one, duh. Tired as we were, we did not forget to take a picture of our room. So, here it is, and we'll update infinitely later tomorrow on how our first actual day in Santiago goes!

OOH (see earlier posts): 


We (both of Mr. Coffee's AP chem classes) got back our acid/base equilibrium test today—or, at least, the multiple choice part. The "bell curve" for test score distributions were one 95+ (Bryant, most likely, as this spot is usually reserved for him), a small cluster of 90+, a huge cluster of 80+ (including 85+), pitifully few in the 70+ (including 75+), and another huge cluster at or below 65+.


On the bright side, this unit is so dubbed, "If you can survive this, you can do anything." So, seeing as I survived the test (with lots of freebie points from Mr. Coffee because he messed up on several questions to help), I must be able to do anything!


(Well, anything except my research paper, it seems, because I almost failed that, and the only reason I didn't fail was because I had clear sentences and good language usage, so the next two weeks will be frantic as I basically rewrite my entire paper.)


I am also awaiting my free response for this unit, which I have my doubts in because I didn't (unlike Bryant and Nyx and basically everyone else who was sane) do any of the AP problems on College Board. Well. On the even brighter side, the next unit is relatively easier (although it also seems that easier units are the ones I perform worse on in tests), so everything should be fine until I start panicking about the calc finals.


Which, if the introduction paragraph haven't warned you yet, CALC FINALS! MAY 5TH IS APPROACHING! APRIL 12TH IS APPROACHING! Ahem. Right.


Our class has yet to panic, it appears, because we spent today discussing what the "ç" was called ("A cedilla." "Oh, Ginny, can you teach me French?") and whether the cardioid looked like a "butt." Dino also spent considerable time persuading Mrs. James to hit the "print" button on the Smartboard so he could go grab a copy of the calc notes he forgot to print out ("We were supposed to bring 10.6? No one told me that!") while Jay used "going to the bathroom" as an excuse to print out a copy of the notes himself but forgot to print out an extra set for Dino.


Not that I did anything in any of my other classes. We had a sub for physics, and Camel, lamenting that the $10 he spent on buying Monty Python was wasted because he couldn't open the file, used his laptop to go on Youtube to watch more Monty Python. I took this time to use an extremely long yard-stick (meter-stick, actually, and they can't be extremely long because they're supposed to be one meter long, but that's not the point) to draw scatterplots for stat. Nevertheless, it wasn't necessary, it seemed, because Mrs. MacDonald wasn't here either, and we had another sub (who suspiciously looked like the sub we had for physics, but I'm bad at recognizing people so I'm not sure). Matt and I worked on another sudoku puzzle, and then later on we (mostly me) worked on some math packets. I can say now with 70% confidence that I can tackle most of the round 1 questions, half of the round 2 questions, and maybe half of the round 3 questions.


Oh, I'm doomed.


But wait, there's more! If you call NOW AIME is coming up, Wednesday. I still have to ask Tybalt what room I'm supposed to be in, and I still have to go over at least some of the problems to see what they're like and what my probability of failing is (very high, although I shall try a Nate Silver-esque approach and conduct some research based on past problem performance).


So. Anyway. Homework.


DISCLAIMER (read the small font): Any hyper-link not "linked" is not true and is merely a figment of the authoress' imagination. There may, however, be a slight chance that such a link exists in real life and therefore accessible. We [Gretchie and I] do not wish to infringe upon the rights of those organizations, and we are not associated with them in any way. We are not liable for any loss, whether financial, physical, laptopial, or any thing else, incurred due to the searching and/or subsequent visiting of said websites. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please contact us at ginnyofnephria(at)gmail.com or comment below. Please note that we reserve the right to ignore you (within reasonable boundaries of law) or delete your comment as we see fit. For further questions, read the sentence before the sentence before this sentence.

I'm Going To Wake Up At 5:00AM

Hahaha.

As if.

I have been telling myself those words for the past few nights, but doing so after staying up late reading Takaki (or Gatsby, for that matter) has proven to be ineffective.

Also, my French teacher today lamented the awful, dreadful, absolutely "wrong, wrong, wrong" act of ending a sentence with—gasp—a dangling preposition!

Never mind that according to Grammar Girl, it's the number one grammar myth. (The actual explanation is much more complicated than a simple, end-every-sentence-with-a-preposition-if-you-so-desire statement, but that's what external links are for. And the last preposition was used correctly.)

Other grammar myths include the much-feared "never split an infinitive" (also something my French teacher obsesses over) and "it's incorrect to answer 'How are you?' with 'I'm good.'" So really, the next time some grammar-amateur-freak tries to correct you by saying, "It's 'I'm well,' not 'I'm good.,'" rest assured that you are actually correct.

Of course, the fact that I am reading Grammar Girl instead of doing homework is probably not a good thing. I might have been able to get away with it if I were not doing my English homework, but we had an in-class essay today (with frozen-thawed muffins and coffee cake), so we did not have any homework. Such a pity.

In other news ("Extra—! Extra—! Hear all about it—!"), I was going to blog about math team yesterday, but I got sidetracked by my trip plannings, so I didn't have time to finish my post. Instead, I will take the lazy way out and simply highlight several important things that happened to me in the past few hours:

• Math team: as Gretchie already had already mentioned, so I will link you to her post instead (later).
• Calc test: half-horrible, half-not that bad. I got the same answer as Bryant for one question, but as the next bullet point shows, this may not be so reassuring after all. (In realms of math, however, I will trust Bryant over Dino.)
• Chem test: nightmare. I half-guessed on half the questions, and for the last question, Bryant got a different answer from Nyx and me, who got a different answer from Camel, who got a different answer from Boris, who got a different answer from... well, you get the drift.
• Tests in general: why have all the tests been squished into this week? I had a physics test today as well, which wasn't bad at all, but I compared answers with Michael, who refutes what I've written, so there is a potential (no pun intended) problem for at least one of us. This seems to happen a lot lately.
• National Honor Society: completely distracting. I listened to our principal talk for a while, thinking about how I would not fit in to the criteria for membership selection. The other half I spent staring at Dino's hair squinting at the board. (Also, Dino might have caught me staring at him several times, which might be either good or bad.)
• US: we (well, mostly our US teacher whom I have to find the nickname for) panicked when we realized that the REVISED edition of Takaki is drastically different from the original. Lots of "sexy" titles gone, and an entire introduction changed. Better than any revision I've ever done.
• xkcd: is every addicting, as I've found out lately. I'm on #600+ now, and I started with 100+ two days ago. Not good. Not good at all.

And of course, I am very, very sleepy and this is very, very late right now, I will go to bed and try (really, really hard) to wake up at 5:00AM tomorrow morning.

Man Girl: 0
Nature Sleep: 1+2+3+...+n+...

Priorities

So, I usually have my priorities set straight.

Well, every weekday, I go home (after whatever after-school activity I had attended), I turn on my computer (or eat a cookie first), and I check my email.

Then, I choose two routes.

A. Go on Facebook.
B. Go on Google Docs.

Mogley said today that I have an "unhealthy obsession with Google Docs."

Uh, excuse me? I so do not. Besides, Google Docs happens to be readily accessible without too much hassle of sending attachments. I, like many people in this world, happen to not carry around a laptop with streaks down the middle of the screen all the time.

If you want to talk obsession, talk about my love for Avant Garde Bk BT. Now that's an obsession.

Anyway, today I chose the latter, and I have obviously ignored my blog. As such, I shall post my story (or what's left of it) here in compensation as I rack my brain tomorrow for something interesting to write (perhaps along the lines of the electric circuits lab I'll be doing with Nyx and Camel--oh, and, did I mention my successful attempt, on the first try, in blowing out a light bulb completely unintentionally? I shall have to do that later, I suppose.)



Love's Got Plenty.

-a story for those who keep me wondering.

1. The Beginning.

How many times have I said, "I had a dream once," only to leave it at that? Left my words hanging in mid-sentence, an utterance that did not make any sense and only left a hollow, intangible feeling?

Lately, I had been asked, "Why do you only write sad stories?"

I closed my eyes. I opened them again, and I started, "I only write what comes from my heart."

Perhaps this was a sobering reminder as to what I had been surrounding myself with. I am not a tragic person by birth, I would like to claim. I am an optimistic person. I love my life.

I could go on, but I would be guilty of distorting the truth. I know of no other life--no other real one, at least, so I have no other life but this to love.

There are many reasons as to why I write, and one of them must be this. I write to preserve what little lingering hope I have of another life I might love more, and those hopes weave themselves into dreams that I cannot make out anymore.

2. Make Believe.

His eyes tell me, "I think you're insane." He tries to reassure me, with silent words, yes, it's fine, it's not just you, but his eyes are saying, "You are the craziest person I have ever known, and not in a good way."

He is not an eye-reader. I tell him, "I don't care what you think," but my eyes are screaming, I do care, and you're breaking my heart right now. Of course, he only hears half the message. And so am I, so perhaps I should be more lenient. But it's so hard to think straight when your heart is on the verge of being shredded.

"I still think you're weird." Oh, well, I think you're fine anyway.

Don't lie to me. "Well, okay."

"I don't even know why I'm talking to you right now." I'm sorry, I have to go, I've got to meet someone.

Glad to know. Glad to know. "Oh, all right. I'll talk to you later." Or not.

"Oh, please, just go away." Sure, later.

And I think we're such cowards, because we can't just vocalize our true thoughts. We have to go through this complex way of deceiving each other and pretending that we are such sugar-coated children who could do no harm.

3. Hanging On.

I lean against the concrete wall, eyes trained on the yellow sheet of paper in front of me, but ears strained.

What is the volume of--"Who wants to go up to the board?"--3.4 moles of nitrogen gas--"Yeah, you're--"--under STP? Show--"Hey, come on!"--all calculations and--"What, what did I do?"--use significant figures.

I write down some numbers and throw in some units. I flip through my formula sheet, looking for anything that matches. I tap my pencil against the paper, then, realizing that this gesture made too much noise, I stopped and squinted instead.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps, making their way closer and closer. I keep my eyes focused on the paper, but I am not seeing. I read over the same line three times. I only see someone--anyone--walking, ready to leave.

The door opens, with a soft but gratifying click. I feign nonchalant, and after a few seconds, I look up, pretending to have been disrupted from a long session of deep thought. I look into blue eyes, but they're the wrong shade, and I smile.

"Hey. What are you doing here?"

Just waiting, I tell him. I don't tell him for what. He leaves, as does everyone else, and I remotely note that something golden floats in the air that drifted past me.

4. Forget Me.

I have one last thing to ask of you, and I know that it is a lot, and I have asked a lot, but I hope you will grant me this one last wish.

I hit backspace. There was no way I would even have the guts to start asking that question. I would regret it, I would back-peddle. I would fall apart even before he could begin to comprehend my message. I typed a few words, and deleted them as well. I could not think anything else but him. I breathed in his very being, and I exhaled a part of myself every time.

There was something very, very false about the way I conducted myself, and I could not bring myself to care. Here was something real for once, no matter how far-fetched it was, and I had a feeling I would not take part in something similar for a long time.

Was I ready to risk it all? Did I have what it took? I closed my eyes again, trying to figure out what it was that I wanted, and came to a blank. The emptiness consumed me.

I have one last thing I wish to ask you, despite all that you have done for me.

5. Nothing Left.

The blinking light should not have been my only reassurance of his existence, but it was, and I could do nothing about it anymore. Some say you could not change the past, and I have to say, it extends to the present as well.

I waited for a while, biting my tongue, wondering if I should really go on with it. I could hear my heart, a constant reminder that I may not be making the right decision. But adrenaline ruled my world for now, and I should have walked away, as those anger-management sites always advise me to do so, but I was caught up in a what-if world.

"Hey."

I counted the number of dots it took to write his name.

"What?"

"Do you have a copy of the worksheet we did in class today?" I had thought it over, and I realized that it was quite telling that I had to think it over.

"Yeah."

"Did you get anything for the last column?"


"Nope."

"Oh, okay. Thanks anyway."

"'Kay."

It was progress, albeit a piteous one, and I for a moment forgot why I had become so engrossed in this matter that should have been so trivial. There was a new world open to me now, and, having seen its image, I began to waver.

6. Choosing Gold.

The way they walked together was harmonious, and I should have been envious, but I could not bring myself to care anymore. I purposefully set my steps so I was always, perpetually trailing behind them. I told myself it should not have mattered, that I had every right to do whatever I wanted, but even as I said those words, I could taste their ridiculousness.

She said something, and he laughed, a chipper laugh that left me with a bitter taste on my tongue. I stared at the tuft of hair that stood up, and it was so fascinating, it really was. He said something back, but I did not hear. His voice was harsh, grating, as it always was, and I heard her response resting in the air. It was not a significant moment, not enough to be noted elsewhere.

They slowed down, and I, for lack of reason, walked on. I heard their voices, now unforgiving whispers, and I quickly glanced at myself. I felt their eyes boring on my back, but it was only my imagination. They cared for me no more than any other passerby.

7. Dreamed Upon.

A  harsh word, I tell myself. Cold, not just right. I make every step a calculation, every word a wager. I took out the element of realism and morphed it into something I could manage. It was more of a false hope, really.

He waves, a gesture of habit more than politeness. I nod my acknowledgement--another habit.

I sink into my seat, a reminder of what I had at stake. I look over, but he has already looked away, and I divert my gaze as well. I take out my notes, my fingers brushing past the photocopied letters in a tired manner, the way an old man regards an unknown young boy.

There is a voice somewhere--I hear it, yet, once again, I do not comprehend. I take it in my hands and I roll it around until I have molded a piece of heartbreak, and even then, I cannot bring myself to swallow it. I merely toy with it until it loses its flavor and its meaning.

I look over again, and this time I catch his eye, but not quite. It slips, and I find myself reverting back to the clock.

8. Worth It.

"You're a jerk." But I can't stop talking to you.

He rolls his eyes, as if he had heard the same, hackneyed phrase over and over again, and I do not doubt he has. There was a fine line I am treading now, something that could decide many things I had been reluctant to look over lately.

I walk away, keeping my head high, what little self-assurance I have left. And he does the same, except he is that much more confident in himself, and that much less reliant on my reaction.

So when I turn around, I only catch a glimpse of his hair and his strides, and I realize again, if I had not known before, that I have lost, even before I began.

9. Don't Care.

I had this propensity towards imagination, a bit of chewed off uncertainty within my reign of comfort. I would wake up in the mornings, not sure of what I had been doing or what I should have been doing. And yet there was a type of calm in this uncertainty, and I had a sense of great mastery of the situation, despite not knowing anything of it.

Sometimes colors jumped out at me, as it was this morning. Red was the aura the air took that morning, and so it was: everything bathed in a sea of red. I breathed it in, silently, slowly, for however long it took to make sense of my surroundings, and amidst this revelation of the inner self I found an antithesis.

But it was short-lived, as with everything else in the mornings of drowsiness. I half-opened my eye and took in the lack of light, and an instant later I had fallen back into my reveries. What battles there needed to be fought, what lands to conquer, I had forgotten. Sweet, mind-numbing softness was pulling me back to a place where I needed not remember.

10. Mere Musings.

He was in the second row, facing the other way, and I was in the fourth row, except I, unlike him, had a better grasp of the present. We both faced a vantage point, but I had him in my peripheral vision. I had his voice in my head.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said, the words reminiscently false. "Just tired."

"Oh, yeah. It's been a long week."

I averted my eyes. "Yeah. I can't wait for the weekend." When the dreams begin and reality ends.

When he turns around for once.

"Me too. I really wish this week was over already."

I nodded, thanking whatever entity I never quite believed in--yet never quite denounced--for a short weekend. I did not know if I could stand the disappointment if I always got carried away.

11. Letting Go.

"What do you want?"

I want a chance. The words I had prepared choked in my throat. Why do you keep holding on to me if you do not want me anyway?

"What?"

I thought I knew the perfect way to disguise my frustration, but his eyes threw me off guard. I plastered on my favorite smile, the one that did not reach my eyes, and felt safe in knowing he did not know how to read eyes.


"What is it?"

"It's the way you say it."

"What?"

I tried to steer my gaze away, but his eyes held me in place. "It's nothing, really." And instead of holding his imagination as I thought it would, he merely grunted.

"Well, okay then."

I should have known, but I was too reluctant to swallow it until then. My voice hung, and I could hear the unspoken desperation, but alas, I was released from his grasp.

12. White Lies.

I sat, my head leaned against the cool wall, and a book in my lap. I ran my hands over the pages until the lines of text blurred and I could not make out individual words anymore. There was a certain degree of solitude in this that I could feel on the tip of my tongue, but it was only fleeting.

People walked by, not noticing, or not caring. I would not have been surprised either way. I sat, in silence, observing their behavior. The girl with her school sweatshirt and a skirt underneath, carrying a backpack and walking by in short steps. The boy with his mop hair and nearly worn-out sandals and his devil-may-care attitude, only he cared more than he cared to say. They were fascinating, people beyond my normal order.

I aimlessly flipped through a few more pages, not reading, as I watched on. A teacher, coffee in one hand and bag in other, rushed into the offices. Another one came out, waved to another girl down the hall, and went on her way.

I closed my eyes, then, when I opened them again, I looked at my book again. It had long since lost its appeal, and, with a last glance, I looked up just in time to meet his eyes.

"You're here," he said. "Reading. Outside."


"Yeah, I like it." I said. "But I'm going to go in anyway."

With that, he left, and I followed him soon after. We sat next to each other, but neither of us talked to each other for the rest of the day.

13. Seeking Atonement.


I sink into my end of the seat, dizzy with the euphoria of life, when someone mentions, "We could have won."

It is a sentiment seconded by many, and I nod weakly along. Naturally, placement of blame goes around, with everyone assuming a small part but also pushing it away. When it comes to my turn, I look at them with hooded eyes.

"Winning is overrated anyway."

They stare at me in a dazed silence, then he is the first one to speak. "No, it's not."

"Yes, it is. Just because it's overrated doesn't mean it's bad."

"I'm not saying that. Winning is everything. It's why I'm doing this."

Of course. To him--to them, winning is everything. I watch as the bus pulls in to its final destination, and then I turn back and face him again.

"If I cared about winning, then I would not be doing this."

14. Happily Ever After.

A twist of the knob turns the volume up. A few taps, just the right blend of melancholy and inspiration. A deep, reflective white, empty beyond words. A vision--a means.

A belief, a willingness--to love.

I have been asked: what is it that you really want from this life?

Everyone asks this question sooner or later, usually later. I, too, like the majority of the world, do not know. I wish I could answer this question, but I have not yet wandered far enough to comprehend.

If it takes distance, that is.

So this is a story in an attempt to find out if there is an answer out there. And this, above all, is my happily ever after.