Why You Should Own A Pet Gerbil, Now

DISCLAIMER: The following is not meant to be taken seriously. The author and her friends do not wish harm upon any animal. Mosquitoes and flies aside.

Anyway.

Zephy and I were on the bus today, and we passed by the dog park. I pointed out that a lot of people were walking dogs, and then I asked Zephy, "If you had a dog would you walk it in the park?"

"Depends on what kind of dog," she said.

"I don't know—a long-haired dog, say."

"Are they hypoallergenic?"

At which point I remembered that I had forgotten that Zephy was allergic to cat and dog fur. So I said, "Probably not a long-haired dog then. What about chihuahuas?"

"My cousin has a chihuahua," she said. "It's named after my other cousin, so it's really confusing when we call its name. But I don't want a chihuahua."

"Hmm. What about—what else are you allergic to?"

"Cats, dogs, and dust. That's what the allergy report said."

"So you're not allergic to gerbils?"

"No, I'm not."

"So you could get a pet gerbil and walk it in the park! In one of those wheel things, except instead of staying still it would roll forward."

"You mean like a sphere?"

"Yeah! Except a wheel would be better, if it was wide enough so it wouldn't tip over. Because you could tie a leash to the side and—uh—walk it. But you probably couldn't really walk it since well—okay, maybe you could. You could pull on the string and then the wheel would roll and uh, the gerbil would just kind of tumble inside."

I guess this is why people "walk" their gerbils in stationary wheels.

. . .

Zephy told me that three people made AIME this year, including me, Tybalt, and some other person whose name she did not hear. But the cutoff score is 93, so maybe that last person was Sonny? It would be a bit annoying if he was the one, since he half-guessed his way there, but it's not like there's a prize for qualifying for AIME, so if he likes doing more math problems then good for him.

But I guess this means I should do more math problems. Instead of reading RSS every night. Although I am very up-to-date on various things such as the pseudo-flooding in Western Ohio, the near-Oscar-sweep for The King's Speech, and the various new functions of Google Docs.

You can't win it all, I guess. Not even golden statuettes that cost $150 each to produce.

. . .

I just realized today that Mr. Wollen's website says "First page you see" when you click his name from the school site.

He also has "First day of Spring!!!" on his March calendar.

I can't wait for spring to start, and for this snow to end. But I suppose I should get used to it, because I have now received both letters of acceptance and scholarship from McGill, and that is most likely where I will be going. So snow, hurrah! Good thing I'll soon be legal to drink, right? Don't they say cider's the best way to warm up on a cold winter night?

Or maybe that was hot chocolate. I like those better anyway.

I also need to choose whether I want to major in biomath or EEE. Yes, those are actual majors. I'm thinking that I'd rather major in biomath, since if McGill hadn't offered it I would most likely have gone for a biology or math major with the other as a minor. But EEE! If I minored in English (no way, but if I were to) it'd abbreviate to EEEE! And if I picked up economics as another minor, EEEEE!

Okay. That is not a good reason.

The real reason is that engineering is a rather fast-changing field, and it's something that generally does not require being in one place for a long time, and that's tempting. Dealing with high-tech is tempting too. As well as this whole "applied" business, because after all applied math goes hand in hand with engineering.

So I will ruminate for a couple of months and decide later.

I Haven't Forgotten This Blog Here

It's just that with life going on I kind of put this on the back burner (I think?) while I engaged in other activities such as reading a 150+ pages long play on a silly middle-class guy who wants to be a noble. Which reminds me, there is a new Noblesse update today, and darn it, Yuma, you have me hooked on it so now I cry, "OH WHY ARE YOU SO FICKLE YOU CLIFFHANGERS?!" every Tuesday night.

Not my favorite way to spend any evening. But I'll cope.

Because it is now 11:24pm and I don't have anything immediately interesting to say since act three of Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme has 16 scenes and I am only on the 7th (and I need to finish the entire play by Monday), I will instead pull up old things I have written as an offering to the Blogging Deities to secretly bribe wish for more posts to come.


HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY 101:

1. Find “THE ECONOMY.”
2. Whack it with a hammer called “BUBBLE CRASH.”
3. “THE ECONOMY” should now be spiraling into a “RECESSION” which may result in a “DEPRESSION.”
4. Report to higher-ups of the “RECESSION.” Assign all blame to the shortest guy.
5. Watch as higher-ups fire the shortest guy. Propose “SOLUTIONS” to the higher-ups. Do not worry about what kind of “SOLUTIONS” to propose--they do not have to work.
6. Once approval comes from higher-ups, ditch “SOLUTIONS” and instead use money to buy lots of new “LUXURY ITEMS.”
7. The sale of “LUXURY ITEMS” will naturally result in a boost in “THE ECONOMY,” thus kicking it out of the “RECESSION” and sending it off to a new “BUBBLE.”
8. Sit back and receive praise from higher-ups and “MAIN STREET CITIZENS” for your wonderful “SOLUTIONS” to save “THE ECONOMY” from the “RECESSION” and imminent “DEPRESSION.” Everyone will have forgotten that you caused the “BUBBLE CRASH” in the first place because they will be enamored with you and will think you can never cause any harm. (Until the bloggers start picking you apart.)

HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY THE HARD WAY:

1. Study economics throughout college and into graduate school, poring over numerous volumes of advanced economical studies and historical graphs and assorted other material.
2. Attempt to use knowledge in current circumstances.
3. Realize all is futile because you are the shortest guy in your group of economic advisors. (Decide to hide behind online personas instead.)

HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY THE LAZY WAY:

1. Watch the “CLEVER ECONOMIST” and the “STUDIOUS ECONOMIST” fix “THE ECONOMY.”
2. Add yourself as a co-author in their final report.

There Was Snow, White Snow

Five minutes from the heavily anticipated announcement of whether we will have an early dismissal or not, Mr. Littney, who had earlier asked us to discuss all of the books we had read for class thus far, asked, "What would Gregor from Metamorphosis say if he knew that a snow day was coming up?"

We stared at him for a while, not quite understanding his question.

"I think he wouldn't even notice," Mr. Littney went on to say. "I think he would be so entrenched in his routine that he wouldn't even notice there was snow. What about Return of the Soldier?"

"Chris would probably be staring out at the snow and reminiscing some wonderful moment with Margaret," someone said.

For Brave New World, Sonny said, "I think there wouldn't be any snow. They would just make it go away." Some else said, "People couldn't have snowball fights unless they used complicated machinery that increased consumption."

For Hamlet, Cammie said, "Hamlet would probably be the superintendent, trying to decide whether we should have an early dismissal or not." And Mr. Littney added, "Whether 'tis nobler in the mind, to have an early dismissal or to suffer until 2:15."

And for Aura, Mr. Littney said, "You look outside at the snow, and it is not snow anymore!" "And cats are burning on the trees," someone else added.

Oh, English.

(At the beginning of class, we had a one-minute discussion of the snow, which included Mr. Littney saying, "This is AP, get nothing and expect even less," in response to the collective groan when he pulled up the blinds so we could better stare at the tantalizing snow falling outside.)

. . .

We had our early dismissal, after all. I came home realizing that if we had not had an early dismissal, I would have had to explain multiple incomplete homeworks. And it wasn't that I had banked on the possibility of a snow day—I went to bed fully prepared to plot out my day according to the plan that there would be a full day of school.

There is lethargy in the air. Scatter-brained.

My back hurts. I thought it was because I sleep in shriveled-up positions, but now that I think about it, perhaps it is more because I had been leaning against unforgiving edges for a prolonged time yesterday. I am not the flexible girl I used to be, the one who could raise her feet to almost behind her head. That was years ago. This is now. This is painful.

I am tired, I am sleepy, and it is but a week since our last break. I slept a ridiculous amount during break, extended, 12+ hours. Sometimes 18. Sometimes more.

Sometimes I want to sleep even more, but it is now painful to lie down on my back, so sleep will, once again, be elusive.

. . .

My dad is talking about one of my cousins, who dated a boy in high school throughout college. The boy went to a better school. My parents often said that was the reason they broke up right at the end of college.

The cousin got a job half a country away, in a factory, and there, she met her future husband. Who cheated on her. She got a divorce and moved back home.

And in China, a divorce is still a huge deal. It is reputation-destroying. You won't ever be the same anymore.

At home, she found someone else, a man with a child.

Which is somehow even worse. These are some values I cannot, cannot agree with. But they are reality. I am not in accord with reality.

My dad does not approve of this relationship (neither does my grandmother, for that matter). He thinks it won't work out. Ever the optimist, he is. He will, most likely, have little say in this matter, but he has a lot of say in other matters closer to home.

. . .

The days are long, and the nights longer. Long Day's Journey into Night. I think I make up for my lack of TV-knowledge with a good deal of literary references. I am not sure if that is any better. If one is inherently better than the other, or if it is merely a change in perspectives and roots.