This Is What I Really Think

According to MIT, this whole application process is supposed to be a way to "reflect and learn something about yourself." Or something like that. I am too lazy and time-pressed to search up the actual quote. In fact I make up half the quotes I use in this blog, especially the quotes that people say, rather than write. Because I really can't remember what you happened to mumble twenty hours ago, although it must have sounded pretty funny at the time or else I wouldn't be quoting you.

In honor of the last day of 2010 (when I'm writing this, anyway, and when I'll be dating this, mind you), I will sum up the year with all of the absolute crap that I've written for applications, and what I really mean by them. Just so we start the year with a fresh, new slate. Hopefully with more honesty, but I won't make any promises. Or resolutions.

Dartmouth is the perfect school for me because . . .
Actually, Dartmouth does not require a "Why Dartmouth" essay, or any essay, for that matter; nor am I applying to Dartmouth. Which is why I chose it for this example. But really, this sentence is pretty much set up for falseness, so maybe I shouldn't even begin this way. Perfect, for me anyway, insinuates "the one," and I don't think that's quite the same as "one of the ten other ones just like it."

I will use my multicultural skills . . .
To realize that Pad Thai is delicious, even if it is not made by someone from Thailand. And instead is made by a Chinese chef who most likely have never even been to Thailand. But I digress.

This will be important in helping me solve real-life problems . . .
Because all of the problems I've been solving are not real. I don't know about you, but having a knot in my hair is a very real problem. As are other things, such as missing the bus in the mornings, sleeping through the one class during the week where we actually learned stuff, and figuring out how not to get lost in the subway system of NYC. Granted, they really just impact me, but they are problems nonetheless, and real (and in life, or my life at least).

I have leadership skills . . .
Are you kidding me? I have following skills. I can follow directions like a beast. No, really. Subordinate beasts follow the alpha-whatever really well. But leadership skills? Most people are better off following a calculator's probability simulator than following me, because I'll be using that anyway.

Through all of my experiences, I have learned a lot . . .
About how life is unfair. Among other things, such as the very handy fact that I do not like horseradish at all (maybe this can also count under "multicultural skills"). But I have not at all learned about "the importance of -insert great life lesson here-." Because all of my "great life lessons" I have learned through tripping up my life, and those aren't exactly the "experiences" I wrote about in my essays.

I have always loved math and science . . .
Okay. This one is 100% true.

Yes. This is what I really think. As for what I think about that MIT quote? Reflect? Learn something about yourself? Ha. More like, learn something about how controlling your parents are over the whole application process, for better or for worse. I don't know about you, but I sure learned a lot.